Well last week (I think it was) I had the consult with the surgeon and I now just today I got the call that I will be having surgery for MALS on January 25th. They will be tag teaming me and attempting to do it laproscopicly first to save on recovery time. This will be my doctors first attempt ever at doing this surgery and doing it laproscopicly, hence the tag team. So the other doctor on board is an experience MALS doctor who only has done this surgery by opening up the belly, he will be there to assist and if need be open me up and take over if they should find the need. So I guess the choice is really out of my hands at this point I don't get a say in what happens at this point really but continue to read. My choices are simple stay in pain live with these diseases that are debilitating, risk surgery that may or may not work (my doctor gives it 70% chance of giving me some relief) the surgeon wouldn't give me any odds at all. If you research MALS you will find that sometimes surgery works sometimes it doesn't, I am going to be optimistic though that this will work for me cause this crappola sucks and I want out of this daily pain.
The hardest part in all of this is I just cant suck it up. No body knows what its like going though all of this, my world changes daily, I have 2 diseases that will never ever go away. They constantly throw curve balls at me and I really do my best at taking one day at a time, but I don't look sick, but I am. Its hard I'm angry, but really who wouldn't be. Can anyone reading this say that they would have or would like to think about dying at 37? Because whether or not anyone one of you likes it I have to, and I do think about it for my children sake.
People tell me I look great when they haven't seen me for awhile, its nice to hear, but in a way I feel bad, how do you let them know that yes I have lost 47 lbs in a short time, because I am sick. Does it make them feel bad? Would it make you feel bad if you didn't know? I would feel bad if someone I knew was losing weight so fast because they were sick and not trying to lose it. My point don't feel bad if you see me. I like the weight loss. Just don't give me shit if I gain it back. Deal?
Anyway enough for today, just wanted to give an update and get that off my chest. Hope everyone has a great New Year. Gosh I hope my 2011 goes WAY better than my 2010 did cause lets face it since Feb. 10 my world has be flipped upside down and now I am still trying to figure out my new normal.
My pieces are still changing!
Chane
3 comments:
I'm glad that it seems the doctor finally listened and learned enough to help make the decision to do something about it. I know all will go well and will keep my fingers crossed at a good outcome as I want to see you out playing softball this summer! If you need anything right before, during or after surgery don't heitate to ask. All of us are always there for you even if we can't be on a daily basis. If you need someone to get the kids out of your hair or someone to make a pizza run so you don't have to get up and cook..just ask! Wishing you a better than ever new year!
Keeping that positive attitude will take you far. You and your family are in my thoughts. 2011 will be your year.
I also will be keeping my fingers crossed that the surgery will work out great. If you need anything let me know. Wishing you a healthful new year.
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